An emerald among a pile of diamonds

There is nothing more rewarding than antique shopping. Well, there are some things that are pretty damn satisfying, like building a tree house in that huge Oak in your neighborhood or suddenly realizing that you need to get off at exit 5 on the NJ Turnpike before it's too late. However, when one takes the day off to browse around and possibly purchase vintage life, it becomes hard to think of anything more worthwhile to do with your time. This morning, it was decided between Mama Trems, Sister and I to scope out antique furniture for my room. Since I've been home, I've done a bit of redecorating in the form of freeing my room from the hideous corner piece that I've had since I was about 7. I was always in love with it and refused to update my existence because I felt it was a part of me. And it's true, that corner bookshelf was a part of me especially because it had seen about 23 different coats of my favorite color paints spanning from under-the-sea turquoise to lilac to bright red with an orange undertone. I didn't get rid of it because honestly, I knew nothing better existed. After 12 years, I've realized that it's ok to grow up a little...(I won't mention how I have an attic full of stuffed animals :/ bahaha)

So this morning, we set out to find Kimmah some type of new desk or shelf or bookcase or something of the sort. I need some place to stick my laptop and my books, cause I've got a plethora of reading materials. We went to this beautiful shop on Main Street in Medford. Three floors chock full of life. I would glance through old comic books and then flip through racks of flapper inspired dresses. I saw homemade throw blankets with ugly orange embroidery neatly jumbled on top of an old sewing machine and table. I enjoyed the smell the most. It's the smell of worn out leather mixed with a little excitement lightly seasoned with salt. Walking through the old renovated house with secret stairwells and closets that reach the puffy clouds, you can just imagine life way back when. After no luck at Medford's antique shop (everything was either out of my price range or too fancy for my room) we travelled on down to the city of Burlington to a place called Emporium. Holy Moses, this place was incredible. You walk in the store and immediately, you are greeted by a Goodyear Tire sign that was probably from the 1950's. They had individual compartments that they rent to people who want to sell their "goods" so the three of us had a massive task that lay ahead of us if we wanted to glance through everything. Well we pretty much beasted the Emporium with our furniture finding strategies and we were 100% successful. You wanna hear about the new addition to my room?...well let me tell you. It's not a desk. It's a Depression era (1930's!!! WOOHOO) small kitchen table that was probably used for rolling out dough or setting up a wash station. It is incredible. The table top is porcelain enamel. It has a beautiful azure blue border that fades into the off white top but what makes this "desk" so special are the four raised roses that fall at each corner. There is a single drawer that I'm sure held a whisk or family recipes for oatmeal cookies, but will now hold my paper clips and notebook drawings. The legs of this table are solid wood that have been painted an off white color. There are paint chips missing off of the legs that reveal wood and parts of the enamel are rusting and wearing away. I cannot believe I found such a good buy. For $70, I purchased an entire life. Who's to say that my new desk wasn't once the center piece of a family. Picture this: it's the middle of a hot summer day in Oklahoma. 1935. A mother is rolling out dough for biscuits to accompany the beef stew on this table. The flour that was sprinkled down to stop the dough from sticking gets in every nook and cranny of the raised pink and green roses that keep the four corners occupied. There are children outside playing with marbles on the dry earth while their father waits patiently for any sign of rain to fall from the unforgiving sky. As everyone goes about their business, huge clouds of dirt move through the flat plains raining down on a man's only way to earn a buck. Forced to go inside and find relief from the blackened skies, the children must gather around their mother, eyes closed with their noses buried in her cotton apron, while she too is huddling except instead she is above this table in hopes that the dust will not disappoint dinner's sidekick.



When I brought this table into my room to set against my wall, I cleaned the top with soap and water, but made sure not to scrub too hard. Who's to say when I wiped the dirt off, I wasn't wiping off years of that family as well. If I look hard enough, I think I can see some flour caked into the grooves of the roses.



In the beginning of this post, I mentioned how there was nothing more rewarding than antique shopping. I still believe it. It is one hell of a way to connect yourself to the past. Run your hand over a baby blanket and imagine how warm it kept an infant when the heat from the fireplace just wasn't enough. Hold a postcard in your hand that has been signed and dated, and read what it says. You will instantly feel like you're right there with "Buddy" at Niagara Falls when he tells "Dotty" that he'll be seeing her back in Sacramento in a few months. Look up at the painting of a vase of daffodils and try to picture it in the parlor of a Victorian style home. Was it above the china tea set or did it grace the walls next to the grand piano? The result of imagining life eighty years ago is so satisfying in the realm of your own existence. I know that there is a story behind this table, and now I can make my own story. I am so inspired to create my own memories with everything I own, but I'm more excited to know that others will be imagining down the road. Hopefully this kitchen table turned desk serves a completely different purpose in a century for some girl and her family. And hopefully she can imagine the stories about this blue and white, flower printed, rusting table prior to her own tale.


Can you see my table? I can.

Let's say hi instead of bye!

So, I'm officially a sophomore in college now. How weird is that? I remember the first time I was able to refer to myself as a "sophomore" when I was in high school. I don't really like that term. There isn't anything successful about the word. All it's saying is you aren't the little baby anymore, but you still have a while before you will actually be able to say that you have accomplished anything in its entirety. I guess it's cool that the incoming students will look up to me (naturally..bahahaha!) but it's not all that special. It's progress though. So that counts, I guess.

Here's a fun fact: I don't like to say goodbye to people. Last night and this morning were incredibly difficult for me to get through. Every time I would see someone who was special to me in some way, I couldn't really find it in myself to split. I spent an incredibly long time in the RA booth keeping Brandon company, even though I don't know how much I was welcomed. I'm sure I was appreciated though, cause I bought a buttload of food and shared it with multiple people. There were long, drawn out hugs and gentle words last night that I really appreciated. So much that when I returned back to my room during the early morning hours, I began to get a bit soggy. The tears didn't really start until after Roomie left to go continue her drunk fun. Then I became extremely melancholy and judgemental toward myself. Which leads me to my next point, I am disappointed in my lack of action(s). If I had to compare myself to any one literary character, it would have to be Hamlet. "To be or not to be?" I have such a horrible time with making moves, so much that I completely freeze up and ruin golden opportunities. I can't tell at this moment, but I might have let a premium situation slip away because I have such a friggin' hard time telling this guy how I feel. Now there are many miles in between us as well as many days, hours, and seconds. Why is it that just when I'm getting more comfortable, a 3 month long gap has to occur?

My room has been slightly rearranged. New additions to my room include this gorgeous dresser that was given to my mom. It's a beautiful shade of dull, vintage blue that works perfectly with my obnoxious yellow walls. I also put my dorm sheets and covers on my bed at home, which makes me feel a bit happier cause I feel like I'm right back at school. I'm laying on my bologna and cheese sandwich pillow sculpture that I made in 11th grade. It's comfortable but every time I shift positions, the lettuce made with newspaper crinkles and startles the cat. hahaha!

I think it's time I introduced you. Everyone, this is Danielle. She is one of the most incredible youtubers in the entire world. Her music is pure bliss and she is hilarious. This was the first video I ever watched of her and after about 56 replays, I learned the words to this song. It's called 'Ode to Optophobia'. Not only is Danielle Ate the Sandwich clever, but she is super talented. also...you should subscribe cause every video she makes is full of wit and humor as well as insightful, homemade lyrics. DANIELLE ATE THE SANDWICH :)

There is gold dust in my hair

In one week from now, I will be at home in suburban south Jersey. All that's left to do is a math final, a philosophy final, a review to go over my writing portfolio and my art review. I can't say I'm extremely excited about leaving. As much as I like being surrounded by things that comfort me (my home, my friends, knowing that there is a WaWa three minutes away, etc...) and as much as I am done with the work, I can't quite give up the idea of being independent away from my home. I have gotten so use to waking up with a half hour to spare before class, brushin' my toof, wrapping myself in pretty clothes and hoppin' on out the door. I like the contact with the family once or twice a day instead of all the time. It makes it more special when I can talk to mama or seester and ask how their day has been in one complete spew rather than piece by piece. I think the thing that is bothering me the most is that for more than three months, there will be people that I won't see. People that have been kind enough to accompany me on my journey to Dreyfus after lunch. The long talks and amazing gatherings outside of Florence will be coming to a close (partly because it's summer and partly because we're sophomores now). That's so sad. Leaving this room...the room that has become so great plastered with my drawings for Sam and all of our stupid, pointless crap. It will be hard to pack everything up. Maybe that's why I'm waiting until the very last minute to do it. I think I'm also sort of afraid people will come back, myself included, slightly different with different views. I am in love with everything right now and it's going to be one shitty situation if in the fall, our return is not as beautiful as I'm imagining it to be. Oh well, life goes on. I just hope that I can see all these incredible kids over the summer. I am planning on spending a lot of time up here this summer, so open up yo' couches, fools! Kimmy needs some place to sleep!! :3

For more exciting news, I am making new friends like it's my job! Well, only a few new friends, so I guess it would be like a part time job. Maybe a quick baby sitting job only for a few hours...? Anyway, Ryan and Gab. You girls are super super super. With super pictures and wall hangings, I might add. I'm glad you two like me enough to invite me over for girl talk and Girl Talk (lalala bangin bangin lalala music lalala bangin music lala). Also, ladies, you know good music that I can definitely support and appreciate. The laughing/honking is cute and YAY! YOU LIVE LIKE 10 MINUTES AWAY FROM ME SO WE CAN VISIT AND WE'LL PLAY IN THE SPRINKLER AND CHASE THE ICE CREAM MAN AND TALK ABOUT HIGH FIVING AND SPANDEX AND OUR WEIRD ASS LAUGHS! okay? Other exciting news. I was being hoppy as usual and it's possible that I fractured my foot. I can walk on it but it hurts a bit. There is a sick nasty dark purple bruise spanning the top of my foot at the bottom of my wittle toes. The rest of my foot is slightly fat and purpley green. It's gross and happened at the worst time, especially seeing as how I have to move all my shit out in a week. Hahaha whatever. I have made peace with the fact that I could lose my foot :3 I refuse to stop being a hoppy girl..it's part of my nature!

There are two things I am craving right now. Adventure and creme soda. I already had a large swig of Behrle's Jones soda this afternoon so I guess that only leaves the adventure. Can you and I plan a spontaneous road trip together? How about between June 5 and July 15? We'll listen to the enchanting sounds of Bruce Springsteen but then we'll realize that Pavement is better suited for summer cruisin'. When the rain comes, we'll open the windows and stick our heads out the car so we can find any bit of relief in the hot, sticky summer. We'll dip our toes in the lake and recite our favorite movie quotes. At the rest stops, you and I can doodle on blank stickers and plant our imaginations on the world, or maybe just the bathroom stall. At night, we can snuggle into the backseat of the car cause we're too poor/we know better than to sleep in sleazy motel buildings. We'll take pictures of chewed gum on the trees and potholes in the road. Then we'll come back and make a scrapbook and fill it with memories of each and every visit.

I am delighted with who I am.

My goals for this summer:
-Stay connected to my friends, new and old. They keep me weird. I want to dedicate my time to being friendly with friends all summer.
-Go to the beach. Sand and salt. Water and breeze.
-Frequent the city. Any city. I want to be a part of the bustling world.
-Make some money. I need a job bad. Unless someone wants to hand me over a few bucks, then that would be greatly appreciated :)
-Do art for myself. It can be in the form of arting in my room or making sculptures. Whatever it is, I want to do it.
-STAY a happy, hoppy girl!

Ben Kweller knows.

Your skin is something that I stir into my tea

I'm looking at the bulletin board that's resting on my desk right now. There are two postcards/fliers that are pinned to the cork that advertise two separate cd releases. They came to school with me partly because they're colorful and add contrast to their desaturated yellow background. But I also like looking at them because they remind me of First Friday in Philadelphia. In two simple pieces of slightly sturdier paper with some colorful print, there are memories that span three years. I have my art teachers, my Art Kidz and memories of super street art all squished into the postcards. I haven't really ever payed any attention to the actual writing but now as I'm glancing over, I realize that the top one says "We are all part of a dream you're having." You don't know how many times I've thought about the fact that a large chunk of my life could be a dream. What if I'm still a naive twelve year old, ready for the big world, who is just stuck in some little land? What if I dreamed the last year of my life and I'm still waiting to graduate high school? I'm going to start paying attention to little details like the tiny writing on the cd release flier. I think it'll do me good.

Recently, the word "accomplished" has been an extremely prominent term in my vocabulary. I am very proud to say that. Last weekend was too hectic and way too sheltered but resulted in the before mentioned prominent term. I "forgot" to do my philosophy paper until the weekend before it was due. So last Saturday I spent hours upon hours (only the night time. hehe) writing about functionalism. I only got like 3 pages done that night so I had to spend the entire day Sunday typing up 7 pages. It was scary cause I had absolutely no faith that I would complete it on time for my Monday afternoon class. But, I did manage to finish it Sunday night and I have a feeling it's at least a B+. So overall, the feeling I had Sunday night was super super. Along with the idea of schoolio, I got all the classes I wanted so I'm pretty excited about that. Also, while in English class, my professor told me I have the soul of a poet. Besides some recent compliments that make me fluttery, that was a great one that I really appreciate. ACCOMPLISHED.

When dealing with friends and others, I feel super excited about that topic. I have been hanging around the same group of people for the past few weeks and I am perfectly content with that. Sandra and I have found ourselves on the sixth floor of Florence quite frequently lately. We usually hang out in Joe and Isaac's room and listen to the Apple Barrel boys serenade us with their love songs. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I seriously can't get enough of Joe and Matt's singing. And good news, Sandra and I are part of the actual recording for "Brandon You Suck!" Other accomplishments that occur on the floor include watching an entire season of Frisky Dingo (hilarioussss), setting up my Sega from the early 90's and kicking some ass with The Lion King, The Berenstain Bears, Crystal Pony and a buttload of Sonics. I've also managed to solidify my weird by keeping Brandon awake well past his breaking point at close to four in the morning :3 hahaha! But that is completely not my fault...ok. maybe a little bit. It was fun to talk about our interests even though he doesn't like my indie movies and I don't believe in movies that come in sets of three. It's fine...he'll see my point eventually! bahahaha. ACCOMPLISHED.

-Hey Kim, do you have any more accomplishments that you'd like to share with everyone?
-Actually, Bloggy, I do. Thank you for asking.

Kim as an artist is happening as well. I have gotten a bunch of offers for tattoo drawings from various friends. I'm excited to draw for people, but it's a little intimidating to think that something I draw will be permanently stuck on someone's inner arm or lower abdomen. If I keep getting offers to draw for people, I might just have to change my major to "Sick ass tattoo designer" That's got a nice ring to it right? I've also been asked by Brother Bear Joe to draw the cover art for his cd. That's exciting as well. It's funny that people ask me before professional people. Guess it's cause I don't charge. Maybe I should change that... : / just kidding. except i'm not. Overall, I like that I can be the one people feel comfortable coming to for artist woes. And I especially like the way in which I am being viewed. The poet's soul on top of being the artist is cool cool cool. ACCOMPLISHED.

A list of things that aren't as accomplished:
-Becoming "Kimmy Hendrix" to the fullest capacity. Teach me how to play left handed guitar so that I can be as rockin and rollin as possible. jeeezee. Then get me a ukulele/harmonica.
-Where am I living next year?

I know that I already put Joanna Newsom in my blog. But my god, I cannot stop listening to this song. I bounce between this song and "This Side of the Blue" but this one has a bit more weight behind it. It is so incredibly written and the way she sings it is perfect. It makes me feel like a child until I actually listen to what she's saying. It's called Clam, Crab, Cockle, Cowrie. Pure and Beautiful and True.

Rise Up With Fists!!!

Current location: On my uncomfortable bed at home. I had to venture home for the weekend so that the family and I could celebrate seester's 21st birthday. We celebrated. And now I have nothing to do. That's not true...I have homework that I should be completing. But my lumpy bed is telling me that I should just wait until the morning to look over my English things or consider starting my philosophy paper. My 3 point perspective drawings can wait until I return to my delightful dorm room tomorrow afternoon. It is so incredibly windy out right now. I love it. I forgot how much I love weather. Earlier, the pretty flowers blew off of neighboring trees in backyards creating speckles of white everywhere. It was beautiful. And as night was approaching yesterday, the clouds grew very dense and dark. That's one of my favorite parts about this time of year. There is no telling if a dangerous storm is lurking or if the sky is just preparing for lights out.

So as I sit here, the only things keeping me from attempting to fall asleep are my headache that's becoming more of an entire body ache, LaLa's squish on my thigh, and anticipation. I wait a lot. I don't really mind waiting because the last few times I waited, good things happened. But what exactly am I waiting for anyway?... I guess just the constant surprise and butterflies. Why are those "lalalalala" feelings called butterflies? Why can't they be called fireflies or dragonflies? Why do they have to be insects at all....it's kind of creepy to imagine a mature caterpillar flying around in your body anyway. Great things are happening for me. Finally. And if I have to deal with the insects in my tummy, then so be it!

Things to remember:
-Stay weird. People will treasure you more that way.
-The 70's were an awesome time. If I could pretend I wasn't born in 1990, I would pretend I was born in the mid-50's. That way Woodstock would have happened for me as well as the hip hoppin' groovy days! jesus.
-Easter candy can take away the blues. and reds and purples.

Joanna Newsom - Sprout and the Bean :) You go, girl!

Paper dolls and people, they're a similar shape

Ask me how excited I was (am)? Go ahead....ask me! I am (was) soooooooooooooooooooooo excited for this day to arrive. Eugene Mirman was at my college this afternoon. This man has kicked it with my two favorite Kiwis in the world, Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement. I'm sure the three of them have been hanging around for ages, poppin' open brewskies and sharing their life stories. How so incredibly beautiful. So when I was "hanging out" with good ol' Eugene earlier today, that means I practically hung out with Bret and Jemaine. SWEET! I mean, clearly. Since Eugene and I are best friends forever that defintely means that obviously, I am best friends with my Conchords. Aren't you excited for me? I was so close to asking Eugene Mirman to describe Jemaine's lips in real life. Seeing that man's plump lips on the television screen every Sunday from 10-10:30 is a pleasure, but I'm sure it's 10 times better in person. Mannn! I also wanted him to tell Bret and Jemaine that I am indeed checking out their sugarlumps. <3

Anyway, Eugie (we're best friends. I can call him that) was brilliant. His humor is spot on. He showed this short video of himself at the beginning. It was on how a woman can find a husband. Apparently, it's a good thing that I know about FDR and his New Deal! I'm really happy that I witnessed such a monumental event. After the show finished, Sandra and I decided to buy his book, "The Will To Whatevs." Since we're broke, we have chosen to split the book 50/50. She gets it Mondays,Thursdays and Fridays. I get it Tuesdays, Wednesdays and the Weekends. He even signed it and drew a precious heart next to his name. That means he loves us :) ooohhh la la! Overall, the Eugene Experience was brilliant and I am pleased with his comedy. The only downside...I was reminded that as much as I would like to be a stand up comedian, I can't. No timing. Or something.

LALALALA AHAHAHLALALALALAHAHAHAHA The other part of the day was just as fantastic. Once again, I have good friends who are always prepared to help me blossom into a fruitful orange tree. Their choice of subject, which usually happens to be pretty narrow due to my one track mind, makes me giggle constantly. I can't contain my laughter or my facial expressions (not complaining. just pointing it out). Scrunching is premium. I want to canoodle with you. Possible Good News - I'm going to go see my advisor tomorrow and talk about my schedule next year. Hopefully he knows what's up with my money situation. POOP. But maybe not poop. Maybe just pee. Gross.

Things I need to learn in the next week: -Three point perspective. It's for my drawing class. I don't really want to understand it, I just want to be able to complete my assignments. So in order to do so, learning how to do it would be beneficial.
-THAT'S ALL I NEED TO LEARN! I have been on a grown-up kick these past few days. Not in the sense that I feel like an adult (actually, it's the opposite). But I've learned how to do some important, progressive things. Like talking. And scunching :)

Eugene Mirman. How to Nab a Husband - He is a genius.

I'm a bird in flight with a broken wing.

My life has become Spring. If I had to choose a date to represent my life at this exact moment, it would have to be April 14. That day seems to be pretty ideal. The sun shines from the minute you pour yourself a bowl of Strawberry Frosted Mini Wheats to the minute you lay your head on the cool, silky pillow. The birds never land and the clouds continue to spread like marshmallow on a peanut butter sandwich. Even though different music can be heard from each open window on the block, it sounds good. It sounds right.

Like April 14, there is a lot that is right with me. Friendships, other ships, my confidence and my grades all seem to be prospering. They keep getting better. I am so pleased with this. Friday night/Saturday morning was incredible. These past few days I have found myself smiling. A lot. My cheeks hurt. I think finally I am getting what I want (reminds me of a song by The Smiths).

But I can't say that I'm completely happy. Though April 14 is an incredible day, I can't forget that April 15 is right around the corner. Normally when that type of a line is set up, it is usually inspiring. "A new day awaits..." But not in this case. After looking at the weather forecast, I realize that there is a 90% chance of rain with scattered thunderstorms. Though other things (ships, me, learning) are going well, there is still one unknown. Where the hell will I be next year? I was getting used to the idea of switching schools. After all, this school did fuck me over financially. But I am completely uninterested in the idea of leaving now. I have fallen for many, many things since I've been back here this semester. I just hate thinking about this. It scares me. I wish it didn't have to cost so much and I wish someone out there could just tell me that it's all good...no worries...the school wants you here. I don't know if I'd believe it, but it's worth a shot. I have completely made up my mind...I want to stay here next year. But at this point, I have not turned in the housing deposit, the school thinks I owe them money (because I do), I don't have a roommate in mind, and I don't know what classes I want to take or when to register because of all this money shit. I want to be here next year. I don't want to miss out. And I will do everything I can to be here. It just might be an awkward stay for me. I've already been offered to live on a couch here at school. I like that, but I don't think that can happen. Help?

I'm going to take an adventure one day and forget that this bad stuff ever happened. I want to accomplish college, without worrying about stupid money problems. In early August, I wrote to my senior year Humanities teacher Mr. Strittmatter. I told him that what I am most excited for in the coming years is the interactions I would have with people. I told him "everyone has a story. It just takes somebody to listen. I'm excited to listen." That is most important. You have a story....start sharing.

"Why think about that when all the golden land's ahead of you and all kinds of unforeseen events wait lurking to surprise you and make you glad you're alive to see?" -- Jack Kerouac, On the Road


btw...I am a great roomie. While Sam went home for the weekend, I decided to go alllll out for her birthday (which I won't be here to celebrate because it is sissy's birthday too!). I didn't have the supplies to decorate with real birthday decor like streamers so instead I used paper towels! I took long long strips of paper towels, twisted each one and duct taped them to the ceiling. Then I hung two signs saying "Happy Birthday Roomie!" from the pseudo-streamers. And our door is decorated, too! She'll be receiving a super present as well. When she least expects it. I am the best roomie! YAY!